The return of Nicodemus
by AK-SilverGirl
Summary: Fourth story - What can I say... It´s the return of Nicodemus, - and he´s pissed off! Pur-lease R&R!


Prologue: This is half a year later than "Love comes to those.". You may have noticed the fact that it is winter, but the whole look of the story is still pure sunshine. This is because the story´s taking place on a tropical island which is lying around Australia. Although, it strongly resembles to Hawaii...  
  
May I present: A story by AK SilverGirl  
  
The return of Nicodemus  
  
("Adiemus" from some No-Stress plays followed by start credits)  
  
Cast: Crash Bandicoot Coco Bandicoot FC (Fake Crash) Bandicoot Aku Aku Crunch Bandicoot Dr. Neo Cortex Dr. N. Gin Dr. Nefarious Tropy Eden Lynx Pinstripe Portoroo Nitros Oxide Nicodemus  
  
(The music fades... We see the Crash hut from the inside and follow our friends in their wake-up. Crash is seen stretching in bed)  
  
Crash: [yawn] ... Arh, I hate Mondays! -(quote from Garfield) Coco: (from outside the door) Crash, are you there? Wake up, lazy wuss. Breakfast´s almost ready! Crash: Comin´!  
  
(Crunch is sleeping in a hammock outside)  
  
Crunch: What´s the purpose of getting up if ya´ haven´t got anything to do with it? Coco: Now hurry up, Crunchie! Your breakfast´s getting warm! Crunch: What is it, then? Coco: Yoghurt! Crunch: Eew, yuck!  
  
(N. Tropy is also in bed, reading the newspaper, though)  
  
Tropy: Hmm, ... interesting! Alarm Clock-voice: The clock is now 7.30 in the morning... Tropy: Like I didn´t know that! (turning the page) Alarm Clock-voice: Sorry, master! Tropy: It´s okay... Coco: (Yelling in the back) Stop talking to clocks, N. Tropy. Breakfast´s ready! Tropy: Well, about time isn´t it?! Alarm Clock-voice: Whatever you say, master! Tropy: (returns to his news) It´s a tough job talking to clocks, but somebody has to do it! ...  
  
(Pinstripe is sleeping on the floor. Suddenly, his alarm clock goes off and he gets shocked and starts shooting at everything around him. He finally hits the clock)  
  
Pinstripe: Oopsie! My loose tricker-finger again ... Tropy: (comes into the room, picking up the clock remnants) God, Pinny. You´re like a "Clock Psycho Killer" or like!  
  
(Pinstripe runs out the hallway and straight through Eden, who´s floating around)  
  
Eden: Hey, watch it, Mafia! Tropy: Arh! (cracks his neck) I haven´t really slept this night, you know! Eden: Nahw, bad luck! Let´s get seated.  
  
(Everybody is now summoned around the table and is feasting)  
  
Crash: Ey, Sis? Could you hand over the peanutbutter, please? Coco: I´ll check the fridge ... (opens it. Aku Aku flies out, rather in shock) Aku Aku: (has got icecycles on his feathers) Hooh! Tropy: Aku Aku?! What were you doing in there? Aku Aku: (startled) Things are going wrong, children. Very wrong! Pinstripe: With you in a fridge? How can you be so paranoid?! (sarcasticly) Crash: Yeah, he´s right! It´s wrong when masks start hiding in refridguators! Aku Aku: No, it´s even worse than I expected... Tropy: What´s worse? Aku Aku: Darkness has been released from the endless Abyss... Coco: Not again! Eden: The Abyss? Are you really sure? Aku Aku: (sincere look) Do I look unsure to you, my child? Eden: .......... Uhmm?! ........ Aku Aku: No? Eden: No! Crash: Shouldn´t we warn the others? Pinstripe: Who cares, Don? Tropy: Crazy mafiaguy of yours! Pinstripe: Hey! Don´t you know what I can do? Tropy: No, I never saw "Godfather"! Pinstripe: Nah! The only thing you saw was "Back to the future"! It´s crab! Tropy: Better good crab than a bad copycat style! (sips his coffee) Do you have a problem with that, my dear fellow? Pinstripe: Oh, just get away from me! Coco: We´re getting out of the subject now! Crunch: Who cares? Pinstripe: HEY, I JUST SAID THAT! Aku Aku: Relax, children! Eden: (to herself) Some of us aren´t children anymore, you know! Crash: (grinning) Who cares? Pinstripe: WHAT´S WITH EVERYBODY TODAY?! (to N. Tropy) And you call me a copycat? Now they´re all against me! Tropy: You asked for it! (continues to read the newspaper) Crunch: Hyeah, like... [WHROOOOHROOOOOOM!!!]  
  
(They are interrupted by thunder. A storm is suddenly raging outside)  
  
Crunch: What the...?  
  
(FC slams the door open and falls in. Wet and tired)  
  
Crash and Coco: FC?! Eden: FC, what happened? FC: Nothing! Just forget it! ... (makes his wobbly way over to the table) Tropy: (now standing up) No, FC! I insist knowing what happened! FC: CUT IT, OKAY?! (frustrated) Tropy: (hurt) As you want it, Fake! I´ll cut it out! ...  
  
(He disappeared in a snap of his fingers. Everybody was stunned. Tropy had never called FC anything like Fake before. They all just stood there, glaring, then looked at FC who was limping into a corner, sobbing)  
  
Eden: You shouldn´t have yelled at him like that, FC! Coco: What´s the matter? Crunch: Cortex once told me about N. Tropy. He said that N. Tropy´s haunted past makes him a sensitive nature. He has acted like this before, just after his son and wife died... I can still feel sorry for that guy! Aku Aku: Crunch is right, there are many things N. Tropy is capable of hiding, but not emotional parts of him. Eden: He´s very lonely right now, as well as angry. I can tell! (all looking at FC in the corner) FC: Leave - me - alone! Crash: I think it´s the rain. FC can´t stand water! I think it´s making him annoyed! Coco: ... We are gettin´more and more out of the subject! Aku Aku: Speaking of which...  
  
(We fade into the clouded sky and then cut to a person sitting beside a pound of crimson coloured water. I shows to be Nicodemus. He´s making ripples in the water with his finger and is very pleased with the whole dissortion)  
  
("Tempus Vernum" by Enya plays)  
  
Nicodemus: (to himself) Behold the Pound of Emotions. Within it lies the greatest weapon of the Abyss... Yes! It´s good to be home again.  
  
(A screaming laughter is heard as we zoom out and see the entire Abyss as a gigantic dark-red spot covered with black nothing. The Abyss! We now fade to Cortex Castle)  
  
Cortex: ... No, Nitros, I don´t think there are any parking lots on this island! ... Oxide: Oh yeah!? Cortex: Yeah! N. Gin: Uhm, Cortex? Cortex: Yes, what? N. Gin: (giggling) He he, what´s the use of your forehead then? Cortex: Why, you little...! Oxide: Hear hear! Cortex: Honestly, which side are you guys on?! N. Gin: Do you really wanna know? Cortex: Actually, it was rethoric, ... but NO!  
  
(Aku Aku and Eden float through the door)  
  
Cortex: Eden? Aku Aku? What are the two of you doing here? Aku Aku: We have come to warn you! N. Gin: About what? Eden: Nicodemus is back! Oxide: No kiddin´?! Cortex: But we just got rid of him, that nuisance! Aku Aku: I know that, children, but he´s back though! Cortex: (exchanging looks with the others) We need a meeting!  
  
(Back on the beach, everybody sit down, discussing the status so far and such. FC sitting in the middle)  
  
Eden: I´ve asked you before, FC, and I´ll do it again! What happened that night? FC: You know what? I really don´t remember... Pinstripe: Liar! FC: I don´t know what happened to me! ... I..I ...w-was just walking when I felt this icy chill crawling down my spine. I was angry, I was mad! I have no idea why! And then ... it started to rain... - rain a lot! That´s the last thing I remember... Coco: This is spooky! Crash: Is this Nicodemus? Coco: I only thought he could possess... Crash: He forgot to tell about this then! Pinstripe: Yeah, why don´t you sue him?! Oxide: But nobody saw him that night! N. Gin: Shame, N. Tropy isn´t here. He could have found him if needed! Coco: I can understand his worrying. FC looked terrible that night! Crunch: (crossing arms) Yeah, but it wasn´t anyones fault! Tropy had his reasons and so had FC... Cortex: But still... It´s like we´re torn apart now... Crash: (rolls eyes) Pur-lease! It´s one single person! Coco: No, Crash, Cortex is right! We must not split up now!  
  
(She is interrupted as it starts to rain again. The funny thing is, that the rain seems to be red - crimson red)  
  
Eden: (terrified) Is it blood? Aku Aku: (looks up) No, ... it is water! Crash and Coco: Red water?! Oxide: This is not good! My clothes is getting totally wet now! Eew! N. Gin: Where did that wierd rain come from? Crunch: Only Nicodemus could have come up with such a sick trick! Coco: Let´s get out of the rain... Pinstripe: Got it!  
  
(They all run into the jungle surrounding the beach, exept FC who is still sitting in the rain, crying)  
  
("I want it that way" by Backstreet Boys starts to play as we fade) (We´ve now faded to the deserted house. Inside, N. Tropy is sitting by a table, also crying. He´s wearing his daily clothes and is holding his tuning fork in his left hand. The rain continues to fall as he starts speaking to himself)  
  
Tropy: Why ... ... Why this madness?  
  
(He looks out the window at the, now red, rain. Still trying to wipe the tears away)  
  
Tropy: It´s just a silly little game... And somebody is playing with us!  
  
(As he closes his eyes, we cut to the jungle-scene)  
  
(The music stops)  
  
Eden: (red rain covering her black dress) I´m scared! Aku Aku: Don´t be, child! It´ll soon be over! Crash: But how are we going to fight Nicodemus if we can´t find him? Coco: ... It´s obvious, he doesn´t want to be found! Cortex: I´d really just like to blast the heck outta that guy! (shivering) Pinstripe: My gun is gettin´wet! Crunch: (almost cracking) ... Who cares?! Pinstripe: WHAAAAAT?! - That´s my line, jerk! Crunch: Hehe... N. Gin: I guess we´ll just have to wait for his arrival! Crash: (angry) But he could kill us all before even making an appearance! Aku Aku: Nicodemus is not like that! He works in a different way than "ordinairy" evil persons! (gives Cortex a look) Cortex: Ordinairy?! Crash: What are you saying, Aku Aku? Aku Aku: - That he doesn´t want to kill us straight away. He´s above quick, barbarical killings... This guy kills and conquers for pleasure! Crunch: And it´s probably just to look good back at the Abyss... Coco: What if he never actually left that place?...  
  
(Back at the Abyss, Nicodemus is playing with the water. Every touch he makes is making what looks like a storm in the Pound. The air surrounding him started to tremble as he spoke)  
  
Nicodemus: You are right, Master of Time! It is just a silly little game... But this game is a life-style! The Abyss-style!  
  
(He stopped poking in the water-ripples and swooped up in the purple-black sky, laughing. We fade) ("Anywhere is" by Enya plays back in the jungle for a while, untill suddenly...)  
  
Coco: This is ridiculous! Crash: Take it easy, sis! We´re just trying to save the world here... Coco: (angry) Yeah, like what would you know?! You´re just as stupid as the rest! Eden: Coco, what´s wrong with you? Coco: Just leave me alone, you ghost!  
  
(Eden started crying and flew into the deep part of the jungle)  
  
Crash: EDEN! ... (to Coco, mad) Now, look what you´ve done! Coco: I said get away from me, punk! (slams him and runs out of the scene, opposite direction of Eden) Aku Aku: ... It has already started ... Crash: Ouwch! (rubs his cheek) What did I do? Pinstripe: Girls! We´ll neva´understand em´! (crossing arms) Cortex: Uhm, ... (still in shock by the whole scene) ... it happened to FC as well, Pinstripe! N. Gin: (speaking of the weather-loke) Uh, yes! Cortex´s right, no one are safe now! Cortex: Yup! Pinstripe: Whatever you say, Don! Crunch: D´you reckon, they´ll come back? Oxide: I sure hope so! We can´t continue breaking up like this!  
  
("China Roses" by Enya plays as we fade to N. Tropy taking a night walk on the beach)  
  
Who can tell me if we have Heaven  
  
Who can say the way it should be  
  
Moonlight holly, the Sappho comet Angel´s tears below a tree  
  
(Passes a tree)  
  
You talk of the break of morning As you view the new aurora Cloud in crimson The key of Heaven One love carved in acajou  
  
... ...  
  
(Looks up at the moon)  
  
One told me of China Roses One a thousand nights and one night Earth´s last picture The end of evening Hue of indigo and blue  
  
A new moon leads me to Woods of dreams and I follow A new world waits for me My dream, my ...Way  
  
I know that if I have Heaven There is nothing to desire Rain and river, a world of wonder May be paradise to me  
  
(Sighs) ... ...  
  
(He catches the sight of FC, still sitting on the ground. He hasn´t seen Tropy yet)  
  
Tropy: (nervous, to himself) OK! Steady, Charles, you can handle this!  
  
(He closed up on FC from the behind. And to be noticed, he cleared his throat just once. FC turned around)  
  
FC: Whoah, huh?! Tropy: There you are, FC... FC: (stands up) Uhm, listen... What I said... I ... didn´t ... I didn´t mean to .. I just... Tropy: (does a little gesture with his hand to make FC stop) Hm, ... now, how´d you like if we went finding the others?! FC: (in shock) You´re not mad at me? Tropy: We must simply realize that life is to short for that. FC: But you should be! Tropy: Are you begging me to be mad at you? FC: `Course I am! Tropy: Okay, ... JERK! Now let´s go! FC: That´s all?!  
  
(The rain finally stopped)  
  
Tropy: (one hand on FC´s shoulder) Listen, son! This is just a trick! Neither of us has the guilt! ... This is the return of Nicodemus, and if we are behaving oddly, it´s all because of him! ... As I was saying, let us find the others! FC: (watering eyes) Right!  
  
(Nearby, Nicodemus is watching them leave. He is annoyed)  
  
Nicodemus: (low, evil voice) You wait! ... You wait! ... One eternal friendship can´t save the rest of you! You´ll never find the weapon to defeat me, even though it is hidden under your very noses!  
  
(Back in the house, Crash, Aku Aku, Crunch, Cortex, N. Gin og Oxide has returned)  
  
Aku Aku: There´s something about Nicodemus... I think your ancestors and I battled him once a thousand years ago... We won but I can´t recall how! Crash and Crunch: What! You knew our ancestors?! Aku Aku: Yes, indeed I did! Crunch: (picking a huge book from one of the shelves) But you don´t remember? Aku Aku: It happened a thousand years ago! My memory is lacking a bit! ...Wait! (looks at the book, which Crunch was holding) That book! ... It´s so very familiar! I´ve seen it before! Cortex: You have? N. Gin: What does it say on the frontpage? Crunch: Erhm! (his nose almost touching the book) It says "The Imperious Bandica"! Oxide: The what?! Aku Aku: That´s it! Crash: The what? How is this going to help us? (snatches the book out of Crunch´s hands and goes through the pages) There´s nothing in it! The pages, they´re all blank! Aku Aku: That´s what I expected! Cortex: Now tell us, Aku Aku, what is with this piece of publishment? (also snatching the book) Aku Aku: Long ago, the reign of Nicodemus raved upon Earth. I tried to stop him several times but fist when I met your ancestors, we had luck in our favour! They had brought with them this particular book. It is an heirloom of the Bandicoot family! We used it to trap Nicodemus inside it, and by doing so saving the Earth!  
  
(silence)  
  
Crash: (slow realizement) Okay, and you haven´t told us until now!? Aku Aku: It wasn´t important until now, my friend! Cortex: (to Aku Aku) While you´re at it, you could tell everything else you´re hiding! Aku Aku: That IS everything I´ve hid! Oxide: Sure, this is useful at least! Crunch: ... An heirloom of the Bandicoots? Aku Aku: It can only be used by bandicoots! Crunch: Oh!  
  
(Pinstripe enters the room)  
  
Pinstripe: Hey, did I miss any action? Cortex: We just found out how to defeat Nicodemus! Pinstripe: Oh! Well, ... then let´s move it!  
  
(They leave the room, Crash holding the Bandica... We cut to the beach- scene where they meet N. Tropy and FC)  
  
Crash: Hey, you finally made up? Tropy: You can say so. N. Gin: Great, coz we´re missing a few! Pinstripe: Yeah, like Coco and Eden... (tries to count on his fingers) Tropy: (gives a deep sigh) What´s with Eden now? Cortex: Well, we had another little fight out in the jungle, you know! Tropy: I see ... N. Gin: Yes. First Coco was mad at Crash, then Eden interrupted and then they left! We can´t find them! Aku Aku: Girls! FC: (to Pinstripe) Who cares? Pinstripe: (sweat-drops and falls over like an anime) Doh! Crunch: Wasn´t me! (points at Cortex) Cortex: Cut it out, will you, Crunchie!? Crunch: Crunchie?!! (to himself) -I wan´t my youghurt now! (crosses arms)  
  
("the Rockafeller Skank" by Fatboy Slim plays)  
  
(An explosion is heard. Everybody turned around and saw Nicodemus)  
  
Crash: What the ... ?! Nicodemus: Insolent mortals! You cannot fight the Abyss! Oxide: Can I go home now? (to the others) Crash: (out loud to Nic) You´re not scarin´us, Nicky! Crunch: -Weirdo! Nicodemus: Putz! Crunch: Moron! Nicodemus: Freak! Crunch: Idiot! Nicodemus: Fool! Crunch: Psycho! Nicodemus: Wanker! Crunch: ´xcuse me?! Pinstripe: Please not below the belt, thanks! N. Gin: (also to Nic) I´d just like to say that you´re a dispicable git! (hiding behind Cortex)  
  
(Nicodemus rose from the ground and the entire island began to tremble in an ominous way. Aku Aku floated besides Crash, who had a hard grip onto the family-book. Oxide stood along with FC, Tropy, Cortex and N. Gin)  
  
Nicodemus: -So pathetic! Just because you have Imperious, you automaticly believe you´ve won?! Aku Aku: (turned aroud to Crunch and Pinstripe) You three! You go look for Coco and Eden! I´m afraid we need all bandicoots to be united in order to clear this mess out! Now, HURRY!!!  
  
(He had barely finished the sentence before he was hit by an energybeam, though he managed to block it. All while Crunch and Pinstripe ran away into the jungle. A storm began to rage, very ominous to the whole scene)  
  
Nicodemus: Ah, Aku Aku I see. Not bad dodged for an old witchdoctor! You look well even after all these years!  
  
Aku Aku: (weakened) What are you up to, Nic? You know this is madness!  
  
Nicodemus: So did your brother though he didn´t bother at all!  
  
(He fired another beam at Aku Aku, who got the full blow. He could barely float by now. He had to protect the friends until they were reunited. The others were half stunned, half confused and maybe a bit despaired. There was nothing they could do to help Aku Aku)  
  
Crash: Aku Aku! (dropped the book) Cortex: Crash, NO!  
  
(But it was too late. Nicodemus had already snatched the book out of the wet sand. Crash just stood there, looking crestfallen. He had really jerked up this time)  
  
Crash: Damn! NO! (to Aku Aku) Are you alright? Aku Aku: I´ve been better, thanks! FC: It can´t be over! -It just can´t be!!! (gritting teeth)  
  
(During this, Crunch and Pinstripe had headed into the jungle looking for Coco and Eden. They had also noticed the storm)  
  
Pinstripe: This sure don´t look good! Crunch: Those girls could be everywhere!  
  
(Suddenly they heard a noise behind one of the bushes)  
  
Pinstripe: What was that! (pointing with his gun) Crunch: Hello?! Eden: (voice) Go away! Crunch: Eden, ´so glad to see ya´! C´mon, we need help! Nicodemus is slaughtering our friends right about now! Eden: (voice -a gasp is heard) Oh no!  
  
(We see Eden float through a nearby tree over to Crunch and Pinstripe. She was still wearing her only black dress, which she had worn the day she died over twenty years ago. You could see the tears in her eyes had dried out)  
  
Eden: If you´re looking for Coco it´s futile bothering. (points up at the tree) She´s been up in that tree for hours and I don´t think she´s coming down! Pinstripe: (up to the tree) HEY, COCO! WE NEED YER HELP!!!  
  
(No answer was heard but a single sob and a leaf falling to the ground)  
  
Eden: Coco? Crunch: They need your help! We have to reunite and stand against Nicodemus´ tricks! ... Coco: (high up voice) Okay, then! I´m coming straight away!  
  
(She jumped down the tree, still having leaves in her hair)  
  
Coco: Hey, Eden, I´m sorry! (removing a leaf) Eden: Don´t be! Crunch: Great! Let´s hurry up! We´ve got trouble!  
  
("Unown theme" from Pokémon 3 plays now)  
  
(Back at the beach a silence had fallen on Nicodemus and the others. He was still floating three inches above ground, holding the I.B. in his hand. They just stood there, glaring at him, he he glared back, groatly. Everyone in the possession of a weapon had drawn it. The silence had been lasting for ten minutes. Until ...) Nicodemus: I´ve really been looking forward to this moment, you know! (waving the book in front of them) FC: So what´s next, then?  
  
("I see right through to you" by DJ Encore feat. Angelina began to play)  
  
Nicodemus: Don´t worry, I´ll kill you soon enough! Cortex: (to N. Tropy) Now, that wasn´t exactly what I hoped for!  
  
(N. Tropy made a nod to Cortex and returned to Nicodemus. This was starting to become annoying)  
  
Nicodemus: (just like that) ... -No, Master of Time, it IS too late! Crash: (on his knees) WHAT?! You read minds? Nicodemus: So predictable, all of you! Never underestimate the forces of Nicodemus the Dark! Aku Aku: (lying on the ground) It is futile, children, ... it...it... is too late! Nicodemus: And it´s so poetic! (opens the Bandica and points the blank pages towards them) ... You´re about to be consumed by the very weapon, you sought to controle! N. Gin: Wait, I thought only bandicoots could use it!? Nicodemus: What did I tell you about underestimating me? Oxide: Oh dear!  
  
(Nicodemus was holding the book, and suddenly the pages began to glow. He started laughing as the whole spot enlightened. Crash closed his eyes waiting for himself to get sucked inside his own heirloom. Nothing happened. He opened his eyes to see what was going on. Nicodemus was enjoying their fear. But then suddenly, Crash saw his little sister jump past Nicodemus and take the book. Coco was now standing behind him, smiling triumphantly)  
  
Crash: (still in shock) Coco?! Nicodemus: What in the doom of the Darks?! ...  
  
(Crunch, Pinstripe and Eden had also returned. They were backing up the rest of the team. Nicodemus was heading towards Coco. Suddenly, she threw the book to Crash)  
  
Coco: HERE, CRASH! CATCH! Crash: Whoa! (caught it) Nicodemus: Give me that one, Bandicoot! Coco: No way! (to Crash) We´re coming now! (Crash glared stupidly at Nicodemus like stunned, until he realized his friends had closed around him. Both Coco, Crunch and FC reached the Imperious as Crash did. A flash blinded everyone. An extremely loud scream was heard as a dark shadow was sucked into the book and for the second time fell vitim to the mighty Imperious Bandica)  
  
Nicodemus: I shall return! I will avenge my honour ......... -Eventually!  
  
(As he disappeared, the book shut itself in a violent snap. Everybody looked at it, when a small piece of paper was spat out. Crash Picked it up and read the one word typed in old book-letters)  
  
Crash: "United"! Coco: Yipee! (hugs her big bro) Crash: Urgh! Cortex: What a great book that one was! Tropy: Agree! Let´s go back and celebrate it! N. Gin and Oxide: About time! Tropy: (shocked) ... ? Wait a minute! Something´s wrong, can we swap lines?  
  
(Everybody start laughing as we fade into black and show the credits while "My heart will go on -remixed" by Celine Dion plays)  
  
Cast: Crash Bandicoot- Toby Maquire Coco Bandicoot- Debi Derryberry FC (Fake Crash) Bandicoot- David Spade Aku Aku- Mel Winkler Crunch Bandicoot- Kevin Michael Richards Dr. Neo Cortex- Clancy Brown Dr. N. Gin- Brendan O´Brien Dr. Nefarious Tropy- Michael Ensign Eden Lynx- Dido Pinstripe Portoroo- Mark Hamill Nitros Oxide- (Wishes to be anonymous) Nicodemus- Billy Zane  
  
Thanks to: Naughty Dog, the Crash and friends Storysite, Sony. Universal, etc. etc.  
  
Special thanks to: "Crystal Bandicoot" for the character Eden Lynx... Jason Rubin and all Naughty Dog staff for inspiring me to write this (well done) crab... And here comes the enevitable: THE OUTTAKES!  
  
Take 1: Crunch: What´s the purpose of getting up if ya´ haven´t got anything to do with it? Coco: Now hurry up, Crunchie! Your breakfast´s getting cold! Director: Cut, cut! (several sighs) Coco, stick to the script, for **** sake! Coco: I want a raise for this, you know! Who wrote this stupid line anyway, it´s such a dead joke! Crunch: I like it! Coco: You don´t count! Crew: (in the back) -Okay! Who´ve stepped in the youghurt?! I can smell it from overhere!  
  
Take 2: Aku Aku: (has got icecycles on his feathers, snivelling) A... Achoo! Tropy: Achoo? Get well, Aku Aku, although I thought it was "hooh"! Aku Aku: (sneezes) Sorry, lads, it was cold in there! Cameraman: Want a napkin? (lends him one)  
  
Take 3: Coco: I said get away from me, punk! (slams him very hard and shakes her hand) Aku Aku: ... It has already started hurting ... Crash: OOUUWWCH! (rubbing his entire face) You were not supposed to actually hit me! Coco: Sorry, just making things look realistic! Crash: Ooooh! Director: Forget it, Crash, I´m not hiring a stuntman!  
  
Take 4: Tropy: Why ... Why this madness? (very red eyes) It´s just a silly little game... And ... (starts rubbing his eyes) and ... DAMN, this onion juice stings! Voice: Cut! - Again!  
  
Take 5:  
  
Who can tell me if we have Heaven  
  
Who can say the way it should be  
  
Moonlight holly, the Sappho comet Angel´s ... (starts coughing) Director: Enya, I though I told you to stop smoking!? Enya: Sorry... (Tropy starts cracking)  
  
Take 6: Tropy: Are you begging me to be mad at you? FC: `Course I am! Tropy: Okay, ... (starts a giggle) He he heh... Sorry! FC: That´s all?! (Cortex walks onto the stage) Cortex: Can I practise my lines now? This is after all the fourtieth try! Director: Shut up or get fired!  
  
Take 7: (A small piece of paper was spat out. Crash picked it up and read the words typed in old book-letters)  
  
Crash: "You failed this take"! ... Okay, who wrote this?! (Everybody laughs) Crew: C´mon, Crash! Can´t ya´ take a joke?! Crash: (to the director) RAISE!!!  
  
Thanks again from AK Silvergirl, I´ll be back with another story soon...  
  
THE END  
  
Copyrights, bla bla bla, etc. etc. etc. ... Crash and stuff owned by Naughty Dog/ Sony/Universal/Travellers Tales ... Don´t care!  
  
-August 2003  
  
Note: Damn, I cut my finger on the paper! ... (again!) 


End file.
